2012 Dharmaisms

"A reindeer with a lighted nose? That's so stupid. How do you think I can believe that crap?"

"He remembers me!"  (said when Santa winked at her when he arrived at the Commons in Geneva).

"Don't get the fungus on me!"  (said to Kenzie when she put her foot on Dharma).

"Mom, if a dinosaur snaps you up, I'll get snapped up with you, that's how much I love you."

"How much longer is this going to take?"  (to the dentist after she'd been in the chair for all of 5 seconds).

"Mom...Mom...I don't want that lady standing near me. Mom? Make her go away from me I don't like her!"
(about some random lady in line behind us at the store).

"It's Kenzie's fault.  She left the lip gloss in my room."

Dharma:   Mom, this is how I hold my sword before I hit a bad guy with it.
Me:  Dharma, that's not a sword. Its a golf club shaped like a carrot.
Dharma:  Wanna bet?

"Mom, I don't want you to explode because I love you."

"Feel better, Bonnie
I hope your toe doesn't hurt
Feel better, Bonnie
And you better not get blood on any of my things like my toys or Boo-Boo."
(sang to one of our fosterdogs when I cut her nail too short and got the quick).

A Cookie For Dad

Mackenzie, Dharma, Rob and I decorated cookies tonight.

Dharma said she made a cookie especially for DAD!  

It's a baby.  

Who peed in his pants.

Isn't she sweet?

Say Cheese

Been trying to get some last minute pictures for the photo album these last couple weeks.  

I have managed to get a full page of outtakes.

"Dharma, smile please."

"Dharma.  Come on.  Open your eyes and smile right, please."

Sigh.  "Okay.  Sit over here and just look at me and smile."

"Really, Dharma?  You can't just look at me and smile?  Correctly?"

Guess not.

I did manage to get some really great pictures this day.  I also got some really great pictures to pull out when she goes to prom or gets married.

The Christmas List

Last year Dharma wanted a real baby gorilla riding a rocking horse with a bottle of milk if you remember.  This year Dharma's list has changed a little. 

We went to see the Santa by the riverwalk in Saint Charles.  Of course he asked Dharma what she wanted for Christmas.  This year Dharma would like a bow and arrow, a tiger and a real gun. 

Santa gave her a high five.  He must remember her.

Erect-O-Saurus

Dharma got a new little dinosaur toy today.  She's naming him "Get It Up Dinosaur."  Super duper!

Discovering Samsara

A few days ago a friend of mine lost her son.  Dharma adored Kyle.  She talked about him a lot and always told me how he made breakfast better than me, and how he plays video games better than me, and how he makes her laugh better than me.  But I'm the mom, so doesn't everyone do everything better than I?

The day before the service I sat her down and reminded her of the time when, a few months ago, we buried my grandmother and we talked about the physical permenance of death again and how we can miss people, and remember people, but how we won't see them again in the way we see them now.  We talked about the cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth (samsara)  Being of a faith that strongly believes in rebirth, we talked about what we thought my grandmother would have come back as and what we would like to come back as one day.  I explained to her that Kyle had passed and we'd be going to his service and reminded her of how we behave at a wake and the things we do and do not (especially the things we do not) do there.  Dharma had some questions, which I did my best to answer.

She did pretty good at the wake.  Got a little ancy and ran around with some of the other kids, which is to be expected.  At one point her, Rob and I were sitting in one of the rows in front of Kyle talking and she got up and got a tissue.  Since I've seen the things she does with tissues I got worried.  I just knew she was going to rip it up into a million little pieces and throw it like confetti, or insist on me carrying it around for the rest of the night.  Instead she wiped her eyes.  I asked her what she was doing and she said, "I don't know mom, my eyes just keep watering."

Her and I stood up by Kyle a few times and she talked about him and the things he had with him.  She asked more questions about what was going to happen.  She said, "I sure am going to miss him."

Last night I was in the kitchen and I heard her ask Rob to read her a story.  They sat down and I heard him reading.  I had to go into the living room to make sure I was hearing what I thought I heard.  Dharma was having Rob read the booklet from Kyle's service to her.  They looked at all the pictures, talked about all the pictures and the people in the pictures, and she had him read it again.  She asked again what it meant and he went over it again with her.  When they were done reading, he tried to take the booklet to go set it down and Dharma wouldn't let him have it.  She told him it was hers and she then sat down and went through it again by herself.

A few minutes ago, when she was suppose to be taking a nap, she came out of her room and out of nowhere said, "I think Kyle's going to come back as a hedgehog" and she turned and went back to her room.  Kyle had a hedgehog, and at the service they talked about Sonic the Hedgehog, so I assume she heard that and it stuck in her mind for some reason, but I think it is nice that she seems to be thinking about her friend and taking a few days to mourn in her own way.

Sometimes, I think the kid may be emotionally deeper than I give her credit for.

Dharma drew a picture of Kyle and her the other day.

Kyle is the one without feet.

Do ducks have teeth?

"Mom, do ducks have teeth?"  Dharma asked.

I looked online to find pictures of duck bills to show her the ridges and explain how they use those instead of teeth.  On the google image page were lots of photoshopped pictures, too.  I pointed to one and laughed and said, "Except that duck.  He has teeth!"

To which Dharma said, "That's a goose, not a duck.  Gooses have teeth because they need them to eat pumpkin seeds fish sticks."

Pants

There are certain questions I am afraid to ask my kids:
                             Are those teeth marks in the wall?
                             Who put lipstick on the dog?
                             Why, for the love of all things holy, are you staring down at me at 2am?

But by far, one of the most terrifying questions is:
                             What is in your pants to make you walk like that?


Dharma comes walking out of her room this morning.  Legs pressed together, feet taking tiny steps because she wouldn't separate her knees.  I watched her.  I thought about pretending I saw nothing wrong since we were about to leave and I was going to be leaving her with grandma in a few minutes.  Curiosity killed the cat and drove the mother insane, though right?

"Dharma, why are you walking like that?"

VERY quickly she responded, "I'm fine."

Since that did not answer my question, and avoiding a question is the first sign of something funny going on I asked again, "What has happened to make you have to walk like that?"

"Nothing Mom!"

"Dharma?  Did you have an accident?"

Again very quickly she says, "No.  No.  NO.  NOOOO!"

Big sigh.  "Dharma lay down."  She does and I feel her pants, which were dry.  Not able to believe that everything was normal, I pulled her pants down not knowing what I was going to find...if anything.  Imagine my surprise when a frog jumped out at me.  I screamed.  She laughed.  I looked at Mackenzie who shook her head and walked away.  "Dharma, why do you have a little toy frog in your pants?"

"Because he lives there now" was the only answer I got.  Coming from Dharma, that was the only answer I needed.

CRAP!! In a box.

No, really...Crap.  In.  A.  Box.

So Rob goes in to get Dharma to bed while I am finishing up feeding the dogs.  I hear him say he smells poo, but the thought leaves my mind as quickly as it enters.  A few minutes later I go into her room and he is standing over a Memory game box.  He says, "Dharma doesn't want me to look in that box and I smell poo."

Sigh.  Pause.  Deep breath.  Exhale.

"Dharma...why don't you want dad to look in that box?"

"THERE'S NO POO IN THERE, MOM!"  she says as calm as she can.  Which wasn't calm at all.

"Dharma....please go over there and take the lid off the box."  Nothing happens.  "NOW!"

She jumps up, goes over, takes the lid off and lo and behold there is poo.  Poo in the box.  Yes poo.

Sigh.  Pause.  Deep breath (not too deep, I don't want to smell that).  Exhale.

"Dharma...why is there poo in the Memory game box?"

"Because," she says, "this room is my home now and that is where I am going to poo."

"Mmm Hmm."  Sigh.  Pause.  Deep breath.  Exhale.  "Dharma...take the box and go put it in the garbage."  She looks at me and doesn't move.  "NOW!"

As she leaves the room with the box, Rob, Mackenzie and I look at eachother and shake our heads and actually tried not to laugh.  Not because poo in a Memory game box is funny, but because from Dharma, we expect nothing less than the surprise of poo in a box.

Dead Baby Grasshoppers

since i get blamed for everything else, why not this?

Gumballs

Dharma had some gumballs that had previously been in a gumball machine in Mackenzie's room.  Mackenzie said Dharma stole them.  I couldn't believe that, so I asked Dharma how she got them and this is what she said:

Well there you have it.  She didn't steal the gumballs after all.

Being Different

I got Dharma a Pre-K book and we were going through it. One of the pages she was suppose to circle what was different.  She did really well.  Until she got to the last line.  When she got to the last line there were the following pictures:  A Train, A Car, A Cow and An Airplane.

Dharma says, "These three don't belong."  pointing to the train, car and airplane.

"Yes, but if you could only choose ONE that was different, which would it be?"  I asked.

"These three."

"But what if you had to pick one.  Not three.  One.  Which ONE is different?"

"No mom.  These three are different than the cow."

I sighed.  "So does that mean the cow is different from the other three?"

"NO!  I'm not circling the cow!  I know you want me to, but I'm not."

I always know better than to ask, but I always do anyway, "Why?  What's wrong with the cow?"

"If I circle the cow, he can't get out and he'll be sad."

So she circled the other three.  A year from now she'll start Kindergarten.  Good luck, future teacher.  Good luck.

Baby Daddy

I was waiting to pull into the gas station and Dharma says to me (out of nowhere), "I know how daddies make babies."

"Oh?  You do?"

"Yes."  She says in her normal confident way.

"And how's that?" I should have known better than to have asked.

"Daddies know how to make babies with their penis."

She knows that pregnant women have babies in their bellies, so I can't wait for her to see a pregnant woman.  That conversation, I'm sure, will be another post.

Miss Barbara

Me: Dharma, what'd you do in school today?
Dharma: I don't remember.
Me: Did you play?
Dharma: I think so.
Me: What'd you play with?
Dharma: I don't remember.
Me: Dharma?
Dharma: Yes?
Me: What color shirt did your teacher have on today?
Dharma: Green.  And it was beautiful, mom.  I love Miss Barbara.  She has the best shirts.  They are so pretty.  I wish she would let me wear some of her pretty shirts, mom.  Miss Barbara is my favoritest teacher ever mom!


Obviously, Dharma does not go to school for the socialization with the other children.  It's ALL about Miss Barbara.

Firetruck

Rob took Dharma to the store the other day.  A woman there was talking to her and Dharma said, "I'm three.  But soon I'm going to be FOUR!"  The woman asked Dharma what she'd like for her birthday.  Dharma thought carefully and said, "I want a firetruck.  A BIG firetruck."

"Oh, do you want to be a fireman and put out fires when you grow up?"  she asked Dharma.

To which Dharma replied, "No.  I'm going to make fires."

Wonderful.  Fantastic.  Just super.

Egg shaped

Dharma asked me the other day, "Do eggs roll?"

I try to make her think about things so I asked her back, "They are round, aren't they?"  She turned on her attitude and said, "But circles are round and they aren't circles.  Eggs.  Are.  Ovals."

"But don't ovals look kind of round, Dharma?"

She thought about this for a second.  Let it all soak in then replied, "So an oval is just an effed up circle."

(Yes, she really said "effed up.")

Dharma and a funeral

Earlier this week my grandmother passed away.  Funerals are hard on people already, so I was not sure how a funeral accompanied by Dharma was going to go.  I have to say she did remarkably well (for her) and only caused me to hang my head in disbelief a few times.  I only had to take her outside 3 or 4 times to calm down during the wake and I only rushed her out of the viewing room twice; both times before anyone else noticed her.  I think.

When we went into the funeral home we went up to see my grandmother and Dharma whispered to me, "Is she going to say anything?"  Sigh, here we go.  "No"  I answered, "We talked about this."  Dharma nodded her head and I thought that would be the end of it.  After a while she asked me if we could go back up.  I took her and Dharma stood right there in front of the room and said "Is she STILL dead?"  I immediately took her out of the viewing room.  She ran around, got into the water fountain, explored and eventually found the food.  She was content there for a long time trying to eat her weight in blueberries.

As the night went on Dharma removed both shoes, would run when she thought I couldn't see her and walk when she knew I could and lay down in the middle of the floor.  Not too bad.  I only caught her trying to pull flowers from the arrangements once, chased her out from behind a couch once, and saw her trying to figure out how to get behind the casket once.  Again, a pretty mild night for Dharma.

The next morning was the funeral.  We talked with Dharma ahead of time about keeping quiet during the ceremony and not running around.  Which she pretty much did.  Instead of running around, she decided to climb underneath the chairs and lay there.  Then she tried to climb underneath the couch in front of us.  Since she was being quiet I decided to let it go.  As embarrassed as I was that my child was crawling around on the floor under peoples chairs, there was no use in trying to make her sit in the chair if it was only going to cause her to yell.

We got to the cemetery and the pastor was giving his last speech when Dharma decided she wanted to go sit by the casket.  So sit right down in front of it she did.  And she smelled the flowers, literally.  She leaned over and smelled the flowers on either side of her.  While she was doing this I started to step forward to get her and thought again that it may be better to let her sit there than to grab her and cause her to scream.  Then I had this thought: Dharma was holding her beloved Boo-Boo Bear.  There was a large hole behind Dharma.  I just knew Boo-Boo was some how going to end up in that hole.  I held my breath waiting and Dharma got up and went back to her seat.  Catastrophe diverted.  Somehow.

We went to eat as people normally do after a funeral.  Dharma was pretty good.  At least the people who were sitting far away from her probably thought she was pretty good.  Those of us sitting with her knew that she was cutting up her smiley face french fries into little pieces while making them beg for their lives.  In a high pitched voice, Dharma made them say, "No.  Please don't cut me up.  Help me.  Owwww."

So whatever forces were keeping Dharma tame over the last few days...Thank you.

Orange, not pink

Dharma came to me the other day out of the blue and said, "Mom, my teacher thinks my favorite color is pink."  I replied with, "Okay."

"Well, my favorite color is NOT pink.  It's orange.  Not pink."

"Okay."

"Mom, I am going to have to tell my teacher that my favorite color is not pink."

"Okay Dharma.  Just be polite about it."

"What's polite?"

I laughed and said, "Crazy you would have to ask that.  Polite is being nice.  Don't yell at her.  Just tell her nicely that your favorite color is orange.  This week."

She thought about it and said, "But it's not nice of her to think my favorite color is pink when it's orange.  Does she have to be 'plite'?"

"Dharma, her thinking your favorite color could possibly be pink is not mean.  Just be nice."

"Okay mom.  But she needs to know.  She HAS to know that my favorite color is not pink.  I don't think it's 'plite' of her to think it's pink when it's orange.  Orange, mom.  My favorite color is orange."

"This week, Dharma, yes your favorite color is orange.  But what was your favorite color last week?"

She said, "Blue."

I feel bad for the teacher.  I kind of feel like sending a note warning her of what's possibly to come.

Crocodile Hunter

Dharma came to me while I was drying my hair the other day.  She wanted to run her plan by me.  Her plan for what?  For what she's going to do if I am ever bitten by a crocodile.  The kid thinks of everything!  Knowing she's on top of it (including how she can manage to fit a snack into my medical care for herself)...NOW I can rest easy!

Karaoke; Dharmaland Style

Many thanks to the Easter Bunny who visits Grandma and Papa's house.  I think it was great of that rabbit to give Dharma a music playing device with a microphone.  Just what she needed...for her voice to be amplified.  This solved the problem I was having of how to allow the people on the other side of our neighborhood to be able to hear her.  Up until now her voice was limited to just 5 square blocks.

Green Lama & Godman

 I don't push my beliefs or faith on my kids.  My plan is to try and let them learn a little about each religion and one day choose one that is comfortable for them or one that most closely aligns with their lifestyle.  Mackenzie has asked very few "deep" questions to me about different religions so I was not prepared today for Dharma to ask.  I felt the way her mind was working through my answers though was kind of neat, so I actually pulled over into a parking lot and wrote this conversation down when it was over so I wouldn't forget it.

The church she saw, if anyone is interested, is the one along Route 64 by that mini golf place, in between West Chicago and Carol Stream.  I don't recall the name right now.


Dharma: What is that place there with the pointy roof?
Me: It's a church.
Dharma: What is a church?
Me: It's a place where some people go to talk about God.
Dharma: What is God?
Me: Well, it's what some people have instead of Buddha.  Someone who some people think helps them.
Dharma: Soooooo, like a superhero?
Me: Kind've like a superhero, I guess.
Dharma: Does he wear a cape?
Me: No.  A robe.
(Dharma pauses to think)
Dharma: Does it button or tie in the front?
Me: It ties.
Dharma: Why doesn't it have a zipper?
Me: Sand would've gotten caught in it.
Dharma: Oh.  Okay then.

I can only imagine the picture she had in her mind.

Sleepovers and Death

It's been a while since I posted a blog.  Sorry about that.

Last night Dharma and Mackenzie wanted to have a "sleepover" in Mackenzie's room.  This has not turned out well the last few times what with all the screaming, talking and fighting going on.  So I was pretty hesitant last night.  Dharma was able to convince me though.  Right before she turned the conversation to a more morbid topic: how she plans on living forever.

Here they are sound asleep.  

Nicer than a chicken nugget

Dharma thinks our new fosterdog, Aries, is nicer than a chicken nugget. I don't even know what that means.

Dharmaland: Grand Re-opening

Today I spent 4 hours getting Dharmaland set up for the season.  I layed landscape fabric and stapled it down (with Dharma's "help").  I put up the fencing, I put down the edging and put out a lot of mulch (I lost count of how many bags).  When I say "I", what I actually mean is "we" - Mackenzie helped A LOT!  She helped lug bags of mulch from the garage to the backyard and she was on dog doody clean up.

I only got the clubhouse and the main slide in there before I quit for the day due to soreness kicking in.  We still have the smaller slide, a beach (sandbox) and two picnic areas to wash off and get in there.  Dharma doesn't mind, she has already been in there playing.

We did take a half hour break to try to fly a kite.  Try.  We tried.  None of us are very good at it.  I am blaming it on the surrounding houses and NOT our disability to fly a kite.

All in all it was a good day.  The kids were well behaved and helpful.

ATTEMPT AT KITE FLYING:

DHARMALAND, DURING RENOVATIONS:

DHARMALAND, AFTER RENOVATIONS:

Look to the left side of the next two pictures.  I noticed the rainbow in both 

of them when I opened them to crop and size them.  Weird camera

angle, I'm sure...but neat none the less.

The Claw

I love the claw machine.  I think they are fantastic and for years I could not walk by one without playing it.  I have to say I was pretty good at it, too.  I remember this one time, my sister, Kendall, and I were coming back from my grandfathers funeral.  This was, gosh, 15 or 16 years ago I bet.  We stopped at the oasis for gas and a snack and I played the claw machine winning prize after prize.  Some guy came over and offered me $10 to win something for his girlfriend.

That's not the only time I have been given money by strangers to win claw machine prizes for them.  When my older daughter, Mackenzie, was about 3 or 4 she too got sucked in by the claw.  She inherited my knack for accurately placing the claw over a specific item and hitting the release button at just the right time.  One time and she was addicted.  Really.  Over the last few years we outlawed claw machines because it got to the point where Mackenzie could not walk by one without HAVING to play. 

Tonight we decided to let Dharma try her hand at the fantastic claw.  Up until tonight she has been a mere onlooker.  Cheering for us when we won and sharing in our disappointment when we didn't.  After explaining the game, and giving her some pointers, I put in the money and Dharma carefully moved the joystick to the right.  Then the left.  Back a little.  Nope, too far, forward again.  When she was confident she was located just over the toy she wanted, a monkey of course (refer to the Christmas Day blog) she got a gleam in her eye.  I knew the feeling all too well.  Excitement and hope that you win, but a lurking feeling that you know you probably won't.  She pressed the red button.  The claw seemed to take forever to reach the bottom.  It grabbed the monkey, lifted the monkey, and started to carry the monkey across the clear, plexiglass box.  While Dharma was jumping, I was secretly thinking that it was going to fall just shy of the hole and we were going to end up either putting in more money to try again, or walking away with a crying child.

Then it happened.  The claw dropped the monkey.  About 6 inches away from the hole.  Oh No!!  My heart sunk.  Rob started to say "awwww."  Then, as if she willed it to happen, the monkey rolled, just enough to fall into the hole.  She grabbed that monkey and yelled "It's just the one I wanted!"

Pink Flowers

A few minutes ago, Dharma came up to me and we had this conversation:

Dharma: "Mom, can I see your underpants?"

Me: "Why?"

Dharma: "Because I want to see if they are cooler than mine."

Me: "Are yours too hot?"

Dharma: "No, they are too cool.  They have pink flowers." At this point she lifted up her shirt and stuck her hip out at me.

Me: "Oh.  Mine don't have pink flowers.  I must not be cool."

Dharma: "If your butt was more little you could use mine."

Me: "Thanks, Dharma.  I appreciate that."

The kid always knows what to say.

I Am Dharma

It was only a matter of time...

Grossness

Mackenzie touched Dharma on accident while they were brushing their teeth.  This was the result.

Dog Meat

Today at Al Caputo's Dharma and I were standing in front of the meat case waiting for Rob and Mackenzie to catch up.  Dharma looks over and says "Look mom, dog meat."  I looked and saw pork and beef and said "Yep."  Then I looked at the woman who was standing at the front of my cart, looking at me strange and I smiled.

Dharma then said "Are we getting dog meat for Mandi to eat?"

"No, Dharma.  She has enough meat and bones in the fridge."  I looked at the lady again and smiled since she was looking at me again then said "I wonder where your dad and Kenzie are."  The woman was weirding me out because she kept looking at me.

"Is that dog meat there, too, mom?"  Dharma asked.  Then I realized what that lady was thinking.  She was thinking we were buying meat made FROM a dog, not meat FOR a dog.  I would love to hear the conversation that woman is having with her family right about now.

She won't stop talking

She has been talking for 4 hours now about everything and anything.  The first part is incoherent.  Then she talks about her hard teeth and how they can help her bite hard things.  Like hard liquids.

I am a Pit Bull

We have a German Shepherd and a Boxer and we foster everything from Chihuahuas to Dobermans for IL Doberman Rescue Plus (no name-dropping here, lol).  Since dogs are such a huge part of our lives, it is no surprise that Dharma thinks she is a dog and is always pretending to be a dog.  I've never asked her what kind of dog she is, so when I asked her this morning I was surprised when she told me she is "a Pit Bull like Loki", our neighbor dog. 

So if she is a Pit Bull...how can anyone still be afraid of them?

"Warf, Waaarrrrf, Warf, Waaaarrrf"

Family dance

We went to a family dance at Mackenzie's school the other day.  Dharma had a good time.  She made friends with the older girls who choreographed the dances, she got a stolen balloon, she took the cones that were put out to tell the kids where to line up and she decided that when everyone was suppose to sit down in their designated areas to keep chaos to a minimum, that she would go sit with the First Graders.  I actually had to get up in front of the entire gymnasium (filled to standing room only, mind you) and go retrieve her from the kids she said were her "new friends."

Sitting with the choreographers

 Dharma with the stolen balloon

 

 Getting ready to steal this cone and put it somewhere else.  She had already snatched up the red cone.

 Sitting with her new friends...the first grade class.

Out of control

Dharma ran like this for about 10 minutes.  She kept saying she was about to be out of control. 

This was without a nap today.

The Whole Story

Thursday when my mom dropped Dharma off at school, Dharma told her she was scared of her teacher.  Not scared enough that she did not run into the school and run off to play with her new friends, though.

Even still, I asked Dharma later that night why she was afraid of her teacher:

Me: How was school today?
Dharma: Good.
Me: What did you do?
Dharma: Played with my friends and the toys.
Me: Grandma said you were afraid of your teacher.  Did something happen?
Dharma: My teacher said my name really loud.
Me: Really?  What was going on when she did that?  What did she say to you?
Dharma: I was playing with the toys there.  She said "Dharma, come here."
Me: Oh.  But you were playing nicely with the other kids?
Dharma: No.  I was playing alone.
Me: What were the other kids doing that you were playing alone?
Dharma: Sitting on the rug listening to the story our teacher was reading.
Me: Why weren't you on the rug?
Dharma: I didn't like the story.


So I know with Dharma, it is important to make sure to get THE WHOLE STORY before assuming anything.

Shine

Dharma believes her eyes can shine.  She opens her eyes really wide, raises her eyebrows, and aims them at things, people, whatever.  She believes her shining eyes have the power to ward off monsters and light the night.

Tonight there was a spider on the ceiling.  I yelled for Rob to get it.  When he got up to get a stool to stand on, Dharma shined her eyes at it and made sure it stayed where it was.

Thanks, Dharma.  And your shiny eyes.

Pow! Pow Pow!

It's been a long time since the last post.  It's not that nothing has happened, I just haven't gotten a chance to blog it.  So tonight I bring you a single photo.

Dharma, shooting Mandalay, with a deer antler.  She already took down Danny and Mazy has avoided injury by pretending to be asleep on the couch:

First day of school

Dharma's first day of school was today.  I knew we would not have a problem with her staying there since she has been looking forward to it for weeks.  She was very excited to get there, meet her new teacher and tell her all about everything.  She was also looking forward to making new friends.  It just happened that there was another new girl today so the teacher introduced them right away to eachother.

Dharma looked around and took it all in.  When she saw the playground through the back window she said, "Look mom, they put that park here just for me."  When she saw the stool in front of the sink so the kids could wash their hands she commented, "Mom, there is a stool there just for me so I can reach the sink."  The teacher put her name above the coat hook on the end and Dharma told me "My hook is first, before anyone else's." 

Confidence is not something she lacks.

My mom came with to drop Dharma off and to see the routine since she will be the one doing this starting next week.  We stayed for a few minutes to make sure everything was okay.  Dharma said something to her teacher, who did not hear her and asked her to repeat it.  So she repeated to the teacher, loud enough for me to hear her from across the room this time, "I just farted."  All I could do was smile and shake my head.

When I picked her up I asked the teacher how she did and she said Dharma is much more outgoing than Mackenzie was (she must have talked back), she has no problem making new friends (she talks a lot), she is very creative (she must not have followed the instructions during fingerpainting time) and that she is looking forward to seeing her again Thursday (please take this child and leave now).

Dharma said her favorite thing today was snack time because they had little graham crackers and her new friend gave her some of hers.  Her least favorite thing was playing with blocks because one of the boys would not listen to her and kept stacking them up wrong.  I feel sorry for that little boy, he obviously does not have as much foresight as the girl who was handing over her graham crackers.

Another food related post

Dharma and I did not do a whole lot today, and yet I am exhausted.  She exhausts me.  She has not stopped talking since the time she got out of bed at 7am.  She has also eaten her weight in food.  For breakfast she had 2 toaster strudels and an orange.  Then there was the half of a dog treat she ate while she was crawling around the floor insisting she was a puppy.  A little while later she wanted a snack so she got a Gogurt.  At lunch she had a 4" Subway Cold Cut Combo sandwich, of which she ate all the meat and toppings and more than half the bread.  Then she wanted another snack and had a piece of string cheese.  Right before dinner she had 2 Special K cereal bars.  At dinner she had 3/4 of a hot dog, some green beans and relish (which she ate with a spoon).  Since dinner she has had another orange, a cordial cherry, a gingerbread cookie and a piece of saltwater taffy that she got for her toy train and when the train wouldn't eat it, she decided to eat it herself. 

FOUR!

This afternoon I was going to take Dharma to play mini-golf.  It was closed so we played at the park in the mall instead.  She quickly made two little friends.  The three girls chased eachother and had a mock sleepover.  Then, the older brother of one of the girls (he must have been 4, maybe even 4 and a half) came by and pushed his sister down.  So Dharma, being the good friend that she is, turned and pushed him down.

conspiring with her new friends

Dharma said she was going to take post on top of the apple so she could "watch out for bad guys."

We stopped in a store on the way out and Dharma told the lady in the store all about how I told her she could play mini golf and now it was closed and how distraught she was over this.  She conned the lady into giving her a sucker, which she had hanging out of her mouth while riding the pink motorcycle.

Tonight after Rob got home and we had dinner, we all went back to play that round of mini golf.  Dharma did not quite get the hang of how to hold the club.

Eventually she gave up, abandoned our game and found ways to entertain herself by pretending to poop in the hole on the green:

Pretending the club was a horse:

Trying to figure out how the course worked and if she could get her arm stuck in the holes (she can):

And climbing on the decorations:

There was some creepy bear picture on one of the holes.  You can't really see in the picture but there were dents and holes all over that wall in the shape of golf balls from people trying to hit the bear.

Other than pushing a little boy down, swindling candy out of a store clerk and messing around with everything in sight at the mini golf place, Dharma was pretty well behaved today.

Doh!

You may remember Dharma telling the neighbor about the penis pictures I had (which for anyone who missed that post was actually a book we got from the library to discuss birds and bees with our older daughter).  So a few days ago she had to go potty while Rob was in there taking a shower.  She was just suppose to use the washroom, wash her hands, and then come back out.  At some point she decided to peek in the shower and ask Rob why he had a piece of poo hanging off him.  The only part of this I heard was him yelling "Get out of here!"

Tonight Dharma is playing with Play-Doh.  She has been at this a long time.  I went to see what she was making and she had an assortment of things that looked like little blue plugs.  When I asked her what they were she told me they were...yep, you guessed it...penises.

The girl has learned a new word and is using it as much as she can.