Woof! Love

Today is one of our dogs birthday.  Dharma wanted to get her a cake, so we set out to get a cake.  She picked one out and told me what she wanted written on it.  I shook my head, but whatever, the dog won't care either way, huh?  I set the cake up on the bakery shelf and the woman asks what we want written on it.  Dharma tells her, but she did not hear Dharma (or did not think she heard her) so I tried to repeat it without laughing.

"She wants it to say 'Woof Love'."

The woman looks at me.  "Woof.  Love?"

"It's for the dog." I explain.  She nodded her head like she understood now.  The woman asks Dharma what color she would like the letters to be and Dharma asked me what Mandalays favorite color was.  Since we don't know, we just decided it should be orange, which is Dharma's favorite color.

Meanwhile, Dharma is looking around and sees a chocolate cake and comments how she wishes she could have had that one instead.  I stop the cake decorator and I ask Dharma if she'd rather have that one.  She starts, "No.  Because..."  And we all (Dharma, the cake decorator and myself) finish together, "...then the dog couldn't have any."

One never knows what's going to happen with Dharma around.

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Chicken jokes

Dharma has been really into making up her own chicken jokes lately.

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Dressing Room Shenanigans

So we were at the mall.  I was trying on clothes.  Nothing out of the ordinary here.  Dharma is sitting silently on the bench in the dressing room.  Every few seconds she would say something to me, or me to her.  I turned away for a second...ONE second...and I hear her talking.  Not talking loud or clear like she was right next to me though.  I turn and SHE'S GONE!!  The child crawled under the dressing room wall and was in the dressing room next to me carrying on a conversation with the young girl and her mom who were in there. 

"Dharma!!!  Where ARE you?  What are you DO-ING?!  Get back in here!" to her.

"Oh my god, I am SO SORRY."  to them.

She comes crawling back under the wall and I ask her what on earth she was thinking and she says, real nonchalant like this is just normal, average, everyday kind of stuff, "What?  I wanted to make sure they knew they could sit on the little bench."


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Life cycle and my necklace

So tonight, on our way to a wake, Dharma says to me, "Mom?  People shouldn't be sad when other people die."

"Hmm.  Why's that, Dharma?"

She replies, "Because it's the cycle of life.  People are born.  People live.  People die.  It's how it works.  People have to die in order to make room for the children."

NO IDEA where that came from, but sometimes that child is wise beyond her years.




On the way home from the wake we had this conversation:

Dharma: Mom, one day when you die I want your necklace.
Me: Great.
Dharma: I mean, I won't kill you for it.  But when you die from old age or sickness, I want the necklace."  She then continued, "But I promise I won't kill you."

Let's just say I'm sleeping with one eye open for a while.

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Why can't people fly?

Dharma: Mom.  Why can't people fly?

Me: We don't have feathers.

Dharma: Everything with feathers can't fly.

Me: Birds can fly, birds have feathers, that's all I know.

Dharma:  Penguins are birds and have feathers but they can't fly.

Me: I don't know.  Maybe we're just too heavy to fly then.

Dharma: What about airplanes?

Me: I don't know.

Grandma:  Actually Dharma.... (and she goes into an explanation about birds and people flying).

Dharma:  See mom?  Grandma knows.

Me:  Fine.  Ask Grandma the next time you have a question if she knows everything.

Grandma:  Well, I really only knew about the birds.

About 45 seconds go by with no one talking.  Then...

Dharma: Grandma, I have a question.

Grandma:  Oh no.


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