She's Six!!

Six years ago today I went out to lunch with my husband.  Our moms were at a small festival in our town.  I had 5 weeks left in my pregnancy, but a lot of problems so we were only expecting it to go for another week or so.  I had been in and out of the hospital the whole time with various problems; pre-eclampsia, hyperemesis, SPD (basically the softening and moving of the pelvic bones too early in the pregnancy), the list went on and on.  My body does not like being pregnant basically.  So when I was feeling a little "off" again, I thought nothing of it.  I would go into L&D, get some IV fluids, some meds to lower my blood pressure, spend a couple hours and come home.  I left my husband and older daughter, Mackenzie, at home - no need to drag everyone in just to sit around.

This time would be different.

I knew something was different when the nurses kept looking at the results from the fetal monitor and blood pressure and ordered another round of meds.  When they started asking where Rob was (they knew us by this point) I was getting a little more concerned.  Then they started in with, "How do you feel?  Do you feel okay?"  Which they always asked, but not this much.  I finally asked what was going on just as my Dr walked in.  Who called her?  She asked me again if Rob was with me and when I said no, she got me the phone and told me he has half an hour to get there.  Apparently my blood pressure was not coming down this time and the baby (yet unnamed that that point) was stressing out.

He made it barely in time.  By the time he walked in I was ready to go, they through scrubs on him and away we went. 

Mackenzie was the first one to come in to see her.  Makes sense she Mackenzie got to choose the babys name from a list (Phoebe, Dharma, Jacinda, Gwendolyn and Mandalay, which got vetoed early on so the dog ended up with it).  We all know which name Mackenzie chose.  Or should I say which name chose Mackenzie.  It was like it was meant to be.  An unusual name for an unusual child.

As a toddler she would wake up from her nap and fill her bed with all kinds of things.  She still does this in a way.  She does not ever sleep through the night.  Every night she wakes up and spends some time playing.  Sometimes we go into her room in the morning and find every toy out.  Sometimes she is under her bed.

She always had a bizarre sense of humor and was able to entertain herself pretty well.

And she has always had a mysterious side that made you wonder, and afraid, of what she is thinking.

Dharma walks to her own path of life.  She drags people onto it with her.  She has a way of manipulating and convincing people that her way is the best way and before you know it, you've agreed and you don't quite know why.  She's been like this since before the beginning.  And I think she'll be like this until the end.

Happy 6th Birthday, Dharma.  Life would definitely not be the same without you in it.

$ Per Scoop, Unless You're Dharma

April 22 - 24 Baskin Robbins around the country are having Scoop Fest; $1 for one scoop, $2 for two scoops and $3 for three scoops.  The girls and I decided to get out of the house tonight and enjoy some ice cream.

Mackenzie had Cookie Dough and Double Fudge Chocolate.  I had Cotton Candy and Bubble Gum.  Dharma had Cookie Dough and Chocolate.  All on sugar cones.  When we were done, we decided we'd get a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate to bring home and give to our neighbor.  We went up and ordered and the manager, out of nowhere, said to Dharma, "Would you like an extra scoop of chocolate?"  And he just gave her a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup. 

We came home, started putting the kids to bed and realized we left Boo-Boo at Baskin Robbins!  I called to make sure before I left to get him.  When I got there, the manager knew just who I was and was SO NICE I decided to buy half a dozen donuts for breakfast.  When he pulled out a big box I said, "No, just half a dozen."  To which he said that Dharma must have been upset about her bear and he'll charge me for six, but give me a dozen. 

How does this kid do it?

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Blood Will Clear A Subway...Who Knew?

Dharma and I were in Subway having lunch today.  The conversation started with her discussing how soap works (by attracting water and dirt and mixing them up, only she used a lot of words that sound more important than I did like hydrophilic and hydrophobic).

The topic moved onto blood.  She tried to explain to me how blood works, how it travels, how it transports oxygen, the kidneys involvement...it went on and on.  We were not talking loud, in fact we were almost whispering.  But some lady at the next table, apparently not a fan of Dharmaland, was bothered and said to her husband that she wanted to leave because she did not want to listen to this conversation.  I truly felt bad.  I really did.  I made sure we were not talking loud.

In any case, I tried to get Dharma to explain the process, but Dharma cannot be forced to make a video when she is not in the mood so this is all I got:

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Dharmaland PSA: Saving the butterfly environment

We were on our way home from the store and she started in on this *rant* about how people are destroying the butterfly environment and what she thinks we should all do to save them.  When we got home, I asked her if she could say anything to people about the butterflies, what would it be?  This is what she would say:

(It sounds like she is saying butterfly and firemen, but she is saying butterfly and environment.  I asked her afterwards why she felt firemen needed saving and she explained that I misheard her. lol)

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Earth Hour, by Dharma

Oh.  So THAT'S what Earth Hour is.  I get it now.  Thanks, Dharma!

Dharma sings: The Water Cycle

After Dharma was done telling us about kinetic energy, she started in on the water cycle.  She made up a song to help us amateurs learn faster:

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Take that Beakman!

Dharma has been watching reruns of Beakman's World on Netflix the last few weeks.  Tonight she watched an episode that discussed dinosaurs.  Before Beakman went to "commercial" he mentioned that would reveal the largest dinosaur when he came back.  Quickly I said, "Dharma, what's the largest dinosaur?"

To which she answered, "Argentinosaurus!"

Beakman came back from commercial and continued on with his show.  He finally got around to the largest dinosaur...Seismosaurus?!  WHAT?!  Dharma laughed.  She actually laughed at Beakman.  Like she knew something he didn't.  Turns out she did.

I started to investigate.  The first Argentinosaurus bone was discovered in 1987, however at the time, it was thought to be a piece of petrified wood, so it was disregarded.  It was not until 1993 that it was found to be the skeletal remains of a dinosaur (as read here and here).  So, I can only assume that the episode we were watching was recorded in one of the first two seasons as Beakman's World aired from 1992 - 1997.

I'm just glad that show is off the air or she'd be having me write them a letter, too.  lol

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Dinosaur lesson for today: Monospondylus Gigas Vs. Tyrannosaurus Rex

Dharma is talking and she's talking and she's talking and every few minutes I say, "Mmm Hmmm" or "Yep."  Then suddenly she replies with the dreaded, "Well?"

Uh oh.  I am supposed to answer a question here.  "Uuummmmm."

She's looking at me.  I need to think of something to say....and fast.  "I thought I knew, but I don't remember."

She looks at me.

"What was the last thing you said again?  Maybe it would help me remember."

She picks up a dinosaur and asks, "What is this dinosaur?"

OH!  Well that's easy!!  "That's Tyrannosaurs Rex."  I reply, quite happy with myself.

"No," she retorts, "It.  Is.  Not."

I look around.  I am quite certain that is a T-Rex.  So I don't really know what to say here.  So I say nothing.

"It's a Manspindus" (sic)  she says back like I should have known that.

I am positive that the dinosaur she is holding is a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  Positive.  100%.  So I turn to the internet.  Turns out (don't we just learn something new about dinosaurs everyday around here) that in the late1800's they discovered a dinosaur they named Manospondylus Gigas.  In the early 1900's they named the Tyrannosaurs Rex.  Both dinosaurs being part of the Tyrannosaur family.  Then, in 2000 they were found to be the same dinosaur (for those who grew up learning about the Brontosaurus, the same thing happened with him and Apatasaurus and thus, Brontosaurus is now an obsolete name).

So where she heard the term 'Manospondylus' and why she decided to pull it out of a hat today is beyond me.  I am just here to pass on the information.

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It's a bird, It's a plane, It's a Quetzalcoaltus!! But whatever it is, it is not a dinosaur.

So then, I guess I'll be sending an email to Fisher Price/Imaginext.  Dharma has been collecting their large dinosaur line.  Today she purchased the Pterodactyl.  Only, it's not a Pterodactyl.  The tail is too long.  She says it's a Quetzalcoatlus.  And even for a Quetzalcoaltus, the tail is kind of long.

The biggest problem, however, is that their website, which lists the Pterodactyl, lists it as "...a prehistoric dino that flies around with cool tech gear!"

EVERYONE knows that the Pterodactyl (and the Quetzalcoatlus, both are part of the Pterosaur family) is a flying REPTILE (which lived at the same time as the dinosaurs) and is NOT a dinosaur. 

So, we're going to need to get that fixed.

(See the Imaginext Pterodactyl here)

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Bug Killers and Pesticides

I was in the shower and I heard Dharma outside the bathroom door

telling me something over and over.  When I realized what I thought I

heard her saying, I grabbed the phone and recorded.  This is what the

commotion was about:

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Woof! Love

Today is one of our dogs birthday.  Dharma wanted to get her a cake, so we set out to get a cake.  She picked one out and told me what she wanted written on it.  I shook my head, but whatever, the dog won't care either way, huh?  I set the cake up on the bakery shelf and the woman asks what we want written on it.  Dharma tells her, but she did not hear Dharma (or did not think she heard her) so I tried to repeat it without laughing.

"She wants it to say 'Woof Love'."

The woman looks at me.  "Woof.  Love?"

"It's for the dog." I explain.  She nodded her head like she understood now.  The woman asks Dharma what color she would like the letters to be and Dharma asked me what Mandalays favorite color was.  Since we don't know, we just decided it should be orange, which is Dharma's favorite color.

Meanwhile, Dharma is looking around and sees a chocolate cake and comments how she wishes she could have had that one instead.  I stop the cake decorator and I ask Dharma if she'd rather have that one.  She starts, "No.  Because..."  And we all (Dharma, the cake decorator and myself) finish together, "...then the dog couldn't have any."

One never knows what's going to happen with Dharma around.

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Chicken jokes

Dharma has been really into making up her own chicken jokes lately.

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Dressing Room Shenanigans

So we were at the mall.  I was trying on clothes.  Nothing out of the ordinary here.  Dharma is sitting silently on the bench in the dressing room.  Every few seconds she would say something to me, or me to her.  I turned away for a second...ONE second...and I hear her talking.  Not talking loud or clear like she was right next to me though.  I turn and SHE'S GONE!!  The child crawled under the dressing room wall and was in the dressing room next to me carrying on a conversation with the young girl and her mom who were in there. 

"Dharma!!!  Where ARE you?  What are you DO-ING?!  Get back in here!" to her.

"Oh my god, I am SO SORRY."  to them.

She comes crawling back under the wall and I ask her what on earth she was thinking and she says, real nonchalant like this is just normal, average, everyday kind of stuff, "What?  I wanted to make sure they knew they could sit on the little bench."


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Life cycle and my necklace

So tonight, on our way to a wake, Dharma says to me, "Mom?  People shouldn't be sad when other people die."

"Hmm.  Why's that, Dharma?"

She replies, "Because it's the cycle of life.  People are born.  People live.  People die.  It's how it works.  People have to die in order to make room for the children."

NO IDEA where that came from, but sometimes that child is wise beyond her years.




On the way home from the wake we had this conversation:

Dharma: Mom, one day when you die I want your necklace.
Me: Great.
Dharma: I mean, I won't kill you for it.  But when you die from old age or sickness, I want the necklace."  She then continued, "But I promise I won't kill you."

Let's just say I'm sleeping with one eye open for a while.

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Why can't people fly?

Dharma: Mom.  Why can't people fly?

Me: We don't have feathers.

Dharma: Everything with feathers can't fly.

Me: Birds can fly, birds have feathers, that's all I know.

Dharma:  Penguins are birds and have feathers but they can't fly.

Me: I don't know.  Maybe we're just too heavy to fly then.

Dharma: What about airplanes?

Me: I don't know.

Grandma:  Actually Dharma.... (and she goes into an explanation about birds and people flying).

Dharma:  See mom?  Grandma knows.

Me:  Fine.  Ask Grandma the next time you have a question if she knows everything.

Grandma:  Well, I really only knew about the birds.

About 45 seconds go by with no one talking.  Then...

Dharma: Grandma, I have a question.

Grandma:  Oh no.


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