Ranch Dressing

We decided to visit the salad bar restaurant for dinner tonight.  We had just sat down and I looked over, Dharma had her customary 2 small paper cups of ranch dressing.  She likes to dip her veggies in it.  I said, "Oh good, you have your ranch dressing."

To which she replied the following:

We all sat there stunned, looking at eachother.  Then I said, "Wait, do that again" and pulled out my phone.

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Erecting a Tyrannosaurus Rex

When my older daughter was young we had themed Christmases; Safari Christmas, Disco Christmas, Wizard of Oz Christmas...

I thought of picking it up with Dharma and having Cretaceous Christmas, but it was exhausting and costly starting over with decorations every year.  So we are settling for a T-Rex Christmas topiary.  He stands about 52" high and is 78" long.

I started with chicken wire and made the individual body parts:

Abdomen and thighs

Then I started assembly:

Once he was all put together securely, I started to attach branches of an old Christmas tree, and wrapped it in garland to fill in spots:

It took 2 days, and I ended up with so many cuts and scratches from the chicken wire that I looked like I fought a large cat, but this was the finished product:

Dharma with the T-Rex

With the help of some floral wire and poles to stabilize him, the T-Rex was put out front:

Some candy canes were added:

And then we waited for night fall:

I didn't quite like how the candy canes were in front, but as I was moving them, I broke one:

I have some tweaking of the lights to do, but all in all I think  he is cute.

 
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Aunt Kendall: Dharma needs your help

This afternoon Dharma asked me if she could record a message and send it to my sister.  When I asked why she said that my sister is the only one who can help her with a problem she has.

See, my sister is actually a half-sister; we have different fathers.  Kendall's father is American Indian.  Now, even though to the best of my knowledge Kendall is not a master archer, Dharma believes that, because she has Indian blood, she MUST be able to hunt with a bow and arrow.  And apparently, she's pretty good at it.




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Taking on Tyson. Not Mike, the other Tyson.

Dharma, who is no stranger to controversy or debate, wants me to contact the Tyson chicken company regarding their dinosaur chicken nuggets.  She feels that people are being misled by their small poultry snack. 

This started today when I asked her how many T-Rexes and how many Stegosauruses she wanted for lunch.  She looked at them and said there are no Stegosauruses.  I pointed to the package, I held up a frozen, prehistoric shaped nugget and I looked at her.

"Oh that?"  She asked.  "That's not a Stegosaurus."

"Really?"  I questioned.  "Then what kind of dinosaur is it?"

"It's not a dinosaur.  It's a Dimetrodon."

I paused to look at her.  I just stared at her for a few seconds.  "No, Dharma.  See?  The package has a T-Rex and a Stegosaurus.  They're right here."  I pointed at the package.  "And what the heck is a Dimetrodon?"

Apparently, a Dimetrodon is a prehistoric reptile that, while it resembles a dinosaur, is not, in fact, a dinosaur.  So I told her that we'd just play along and asked her again how many of each she wanted.  Nope.  She wanted me to call them and tell them they're wrong.  The product is listed as a "Fun Nugget" and makes no mention of dinosaur, so they have not really done anything wrong here.  There is no false advertising.  But tell that to Dharma.

So if you're asking why she would think that the small dinosaur is a Dimetrodon and not a Stegosaurus, her answer is easy:  Stegosauruses have spikes on their tails.  Dimetrodons, do not.  Stegosaurses have armor plates on their back.  Dimetrodons have a sail-like thing.  If you really look at it, she may just be right.

Dimetrodon:

Stegosaurus:

Yellow

Dharma has been singing this song for days now.

That's just batty

I needed to make a quick stop on the way home at the grocery store.  Dharma and I were going to run in and out and be home.  No drama.

We got to the car and I say, "Where's Batty?"  (her stuffed bat that I told her NOT to take into the store but she insisted on taking in anyway).

"I must have left him in the store."  She says.

And so it starts.  We walk up and down every aisle, even the ones we had not been in.  No bat. 

We go up to the service desk and I ask if anyone has turned him in.  Of course they haven't. 

The nice older lady asks if we want to leave our name.  Of course we do.

She looks at Dharma and asks if Dharma can describe the TOY.  Toy.  She called it a toy.  Dharma says, "He's black and his name is batty and he's a REAL BAT. He's not a toy."  Then, just for effect, she looks up to the ceiling and says, "I thought I heard him flying by."

The woman looks to me and I smile.  I assume the woman knows by my smile that she should not pay attention to anything Dharma just said.  Not the case.  Instead she loudly says, "It's a REAL bat?!  You brought a REAL BAT into the store?  AND LOST IT!?"  She now looks at the ceiling.  I thought she was playing along.  I mean, who brings a real bat to the grocery store?  I figured we were on the same page. 

Until she called the manager over.