Pants

There are certain questions I am afraid to ask my kids:
                             Are those teeth marks in the wall?
                             Who put lipstick on the dog?
                             Why, for the love of all things holy, are you staring down at me at 2am?

But by far, one of the most terrifying questions is:
                             What is in your pants to make you walk like that?


Dharma comes walking out of her room this morning.  Legs pressed together, feet taking tiny steps because she wouldn't separate her knees.  I watched her.  I thought about pretending I saw nothing wrong since we were about to leave and I was going to be leaving her with grandma in a few minutes.  Curiosity killed the cat and drove the mother insane, though right?

"Dharma, why are you walking like that?"

VERY quickly she responded, "I'm fine."

Since that did not answer my question, and avoiding a question is the first sign of something funny going on I asked again, "What has happened to make you have to walk like that?"

"Nothing Mom!"

"Dharma?  Did you have an accident?"

Again very quickly she says, "No.  No.  NO.  NOOOO!"

Big sigh.  "Dharma lay down."  She does and I feel her pants, which were dry.  Not able to believe that everything was normal, I pulled her pants down not knowing what I was going to find...if anything.  Imagine my surprise when a frog jumped out at me.  I screamed.  She laughed.  I looked at Mackenzie who shook her head and walked away.  "Dharma, why do you have a little toy frog in your pants?"

"Because he lives there now" was the only answer I got.  Coming from Dharma, that was the only answer I needed.